MOVIE REVIEW GIZMO™
(The Entertainment Dilemma)

Here's the dilemma. a) Do movies CAUSE violence? Like smoking CAUSES cancer? Is it turning into an EPIDEMIC? b) If so, what should be done about it?

Since the answer to (a) is "yes and no" (as free will is a factor in violence), then the answer to (b) is that censorship is inappropriate (and itself leads to greater evils). Therefore, the best strategy is that we should work on innoculation or vaccination, which is the best thing for EPIDEMICS anyway (as well as proper hygeine and quarantine.)

Innoculation/vaccine consists of taking the disease agent, the germ, the vile, insipid movie, and either killing it, or otherwise maiming it, and THEN introducing it into the body of the vaccinee, allowing your little cherub to view it, so that their own immune system can figure out what's going on and be prepared for any outbreak. Applying this metaphor to movies, we see immediately the parallels between killing or maiming a bacteria, and reviewing a movie.

The movie review, if approached properly and systematically, can bring about healing in the host.

Many social groups already use movie reviews for this innoculating function. There are many paradoxes here. Like the fact that both flaming socialists and the flaming right wing find major problems with "Black Hawk Down". Their reasons for this are most illuminating and their reviews/vaccinations are really fascinating and probably healthy to be exposed to.

Obviously my analysis of movies and the examples and links to the debate (both pro and con) are vast, but I am in no mood to explore that now. Instead, I leave you with a prime example of a movie review to give you an idea of how this process works.

The movie below, BABE, pretends to be a sweet, innocent story for children. THAT'S THE WORST KIND OF MOVIE. These are the ones you need to be the most suspicious about. This movie is a CARNIVOROUS VAMPIRE in pigs clothing. A tool of the worst kind of FASCIST PROPAGANDA. Later I will draw your attention to other, similarly innocuous yet ultimately sinister movies. They will all vy for the coveted "Babe Award".

PORCO FACISTI! We're on to you!

SILENCE OF THE PIGS

Logline: "Babe" is a movie about a pig with a talent for herding sheep by asking them nicely.

The Truth: A movie review likened the Oscar nominated "Babe" to a cross between Charlottes Web and Animal Farm.  Don't be deceived.  The latter two movies dealt head on with the tough issue of oppression.  Babe was nothing more than a tortured sports movie promoting the triumph of patriarchal fascism.

     In contrast, Charlottes Web rebelled against the fascism of the farm by showing a valiant attempt by one creature (a spider) to help prolong the life of another (a pig) through brave, non-stereotypical actions and public protest (weaving webs that said "Some Pig" designed to draw attention to the plight of the pig).  And yes, perhaps protest and rebellion are futile, or perhaps they don't go far enough.  That was the theme explored in Animal Farm where brave pigs led other farm animals to end the oppression of the tyrannical humans, only to assume their exact ways and habits in oppressing the other animals.  

     Babe starts out with the potential to tackle oppression by acknowledging the unequal relationship between violent, carnivorous humans and gentle, slop recycling pigs. It then devolves into this weird sports movie where the human "Master" is a God figure for whom the sports prize is won. 

Yes, in scene after scene, the values of fascist patriarchal capitalism are reinforced.  Babe Methodically shows how animals are socialized into conforming to the "Master's" expectations.  At first, a non-conformist like Babe creates a stir, but soon, happy fascist harmony is restored on the condition that her abberation is co-opted to serve the greater glory of the "Master."  How does this happen?  Let's examine the beats of the story.

     The movie begins with Babe witnessing the violent kidnapping of her Mother by big ugly men and their electric prods.  A voiceover tells us the pigs think that when other pigs are taken away ("disappeared?") they go to a splendid place which must be too wonderful to leave as no pig has ever returned.  Hah hah hah, silly pigs. 

     Despite the possibility that her mom may have gone to a pleasant pig heaven, Babe is traumatized by the separation.  This sensitivity labels Babe as special.  Unlike her other siblings who clamor to the mechanical mammary substitute that is lowered for them, Babe wanders off to the edge of the pen to sniffle and cry. 

     At this point, the voiceover suggests that Babe's meditative behavior is an indication of a higher state of consciousness, that Babe is an exception to the piggy masses.  Thus she is chosen for a different fate than the other bacon-to-be's. 

     Voiceovers are notorious for clouding the issue.  What Babe's standoffishness really indicated was vulnerability and individualism - the type that can be exploited by fascist minions with their flattery as they seek to divide groups they want to dominate, and co-opt the more gifted members.

     So the "special" pig is then taken away from her peers, from her cultural group, to a country fair where humans get to handle her and guess her weight.  Thus, she finds herself in the arms of farmer Dogget (or Hogget, or Blogget). 

     Pig Labor & the Sheepdog Guild.  The farmer takes Babe home, and there she is befriended by sheepdogs.  This is seen as unorthodox.  The big bossy dog is annoyed by it.  But he allows it to happen.  (Later this same dog becomes "jealous" of Babe's prowess as a sheep-herder, and reacts violently.  For this, he is sedated by the humans.  OK, there is the domestic violence scene and he is pretty "racist," but I think they wrote it that way.  I don't know, it just seems to me that this is a typical capitalist patriarchal moral, if you're part of the sheepdog union, and some scab pig comes muscling in to break a strike...well, they weren't on strike.  We'll let this one pass.  Still, he might have brought the wages down.  Hey, I think Pat Buchanan's with me on this one).

     Status Quo.  Conforming and feeling out the hierarchy. Getting introduced to all the creatures who accept and understand what their roles are on the farm, Babe challenges the status quo.  Like the duck. 

     The Press and Patriarchy.  Another interesting  manipulation by the voiceover:  It paints the cat as a villain ("not all cat's are evil...but this one...").  Why does the voiceover deem the cat nasty?  Because she tells the truth.  No one likes to hear the truth in a fascist patriarchy.  But this is no simple slam on free, investigative journalism, it's a subtle reminder that in times of great contests (say, war, or the night before a great sheepherding contest), one shouldn't upset the populace by giving them an objective perspective on their role in the greater scheme of things.  The real crime of the cat, it seems, is that she jeopardized Babe's chances of winning, which is no big deal for Babe, but it is a big deal for the "Master". 

     The management of Sheep (Obedience of the Lambs).  The most important aspect of the story, Babe's gift for sheepherding.  Babe brings her own unique management style to bear in herding them, which surprises everyone.  What it comes down to is that she asks nicely for them to do something.  But the kicker is:  They say yes.  What if they were to say no?  What if they were to propose something entirely different?  Well, luckily for the fascist propagandists making this movie, sheep are sheep, and we have a stereotype of their obedience. So they conform. The cowards.

Of course, at the end, in the big contest, the sheep don't even acknowledge babe.  It's as if they don't speak.  That's why it's so wierd that out of the blue the other sheep share a magic poem with the dogs and Babe to communicate with the belligerent sheep.  I didn't understand this at all, except the mantra was a poem about sheep being true to their sheep like nature, which means, I suppose, don't forget how obedient you're supposed to be.

The bottom line is, at the end, the concern is not for the triumph of polite sheep-herding, or the acceptance of non-traditional work for different members of society.  The concern is that the "Master" not lose face.  He can't be the laughing-stock of the other humans.  This is what the animals are most concerned about.  It's touching, but it comes after Babe's long tortured night of realizing that "even the Master" eats pork.  He might have even eaten Babe's mother, for all we know.  "Even the Master?" Babe utters, like "Et tu, Bruté?"  What would Julius Cæsar have done in his place? Jumped through hoops for Brutus? I think not.

And finally, sickeningly, the last scene has Babe and farmer Bloggett, (or Doggett, or Hoggett) bathed in glorious golden pink sunlight from a beam that bursts through the clouds to illuminate them.  The radiant pig and the radiant farmer in the moment of the farmer's triumph and the pigs excellent display of servitude gaze at eachother and the farmer says "That'll do, pig, that'll do." 

Yep.  Don't bother aiming any higher pig.  That what ya got right there is just fine.  Any more displays of your intelligence or growth, and they may start giving you IQ tests, then God knows, they might push for your equal rights or something, and where would we be then?  Equal wages?  Reparations?  Nope.  That's fine, right where you are, right now, looking up to me like you do.  Good job.  Keep it up, just like that.  Slip, and you're dinner, pig.

The Silver Lining:  The only thing that gives me hope about this movie, the subversive element other than the wonderful protesting duck (whose very serious protests are trivialized by being played for comic effect), is the portrayal of the farmer's piggy family and his relationship with them.  In portraying his piggy wife and piggy grandchildren, the story seemed to be saying that they should be like Babe, looking to him as their master.  However, they are not.  So they are painted in the unflattering stereotypes of pigs, and when the piggy granddaughter rejects the "Master's" christmas present, he simply blinks, and begins withdrawing, moving to the world of his sheepherding pig and adoring dogs, where a man can still get some respect.

THE END!

(But wait! More reviews to come. Once I deconstruct the Movie Review Gizmo™ so that you can just answer a few questions about your favorite movie, and hey presto, out will come your vaccinated movie.)